In life you meet a lot of people and there are a lot of people in your life. They may be friends, family, significant others or just random people you know. It’s so important to know who in your life is good for you and who should be cut from it. The following sections just talk about family, friends and significant others and my advice on them.
family
Art by Adriana Vergara
Family is one of the most important things in the world, to me at least. Sometimes you may hate them and think they’re intruding on your life other times they might annoy you to the point that you want to lock yourself in your room and scream, but it has been my experience that I don’t know what I would do without them. I’m very aware of the fact that no one’s family is perfect and they all have their own issues. I know my family isn’t perfect. We’ve had our ups and downs and turnarounds, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. When I need help, my mom is always there for me. My dad sometimes chimes in too, but he isn’t the best resource for women problems such as periods etc. My sister always manages to cheer me up on a rainy day, even though she constantly raids my closet and steals my clothes, I still love her to bits. I like to think of family as a permanent support system. They’re bound to you by blood and you’ll always have that permanent connection. Some, as in my case, your parents aren’t your birth parents, but that really doesn’t matter. I still receive the same love that birth parents would give their birth child and I can never tell the difference. Sometimes your familial support system isn’t limited to your immediate family (parents and siblings). Maybe it’s your grandparents or aunts or uncles or cousins. No matter who it is, hold onto them. They are the people who will help you get through life and give you continued support no matter what. But, if you aren’t on the best terms with your blood family, find a new one and cut the others out of your life if they don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Maybe your close friends can become your new family or your friends family. It doesn’t matter who, who you deem to be your family should be people who love you and accept who you are and all your forms, no matter what.
friends
It has been my experience that friends are your life and what it takes to survive in this world. My friends have been there for me through thick and thin. I don’t know what I would do without them. I cannot stress how important it is to have friends and to make friends. I get it. You might be shy, you might be scared, I was too, but I took the leap of faith, and I don’t regret it. I’ve made so many amazing friends by stepping out of my comfort zone and talking to people and giving them a chance. You don’t have to be amazing friends with everyone you meet, but as long as you have some close friends, it’ll make your life even better than it is now. But alas, there’s always negatives, and those are peer pressure and fitting in. Within society, anywhere really, there is a constant pressure to fit in. You might feel like you need to do dangerous things to fit in or be cool like drive recklessly or drink alcohol or do drugs, but seriously don’t. Peer pressure is not fun. To emphasize my adamence about not giving into peer pressure, please enjoy all these capital words: DO NOT GIVE INTO PEER PRESSURE. I REPEAT, DO NOT GIVE INTO PEER PRESSURE. If your friends are pressuring you into something that you don’t want to do and have made clear that you don’t want to do, then they aren’t your friends. It’s always to be pushed out of our comfort zone like an inch because you can experience new things that way, but if your friends are trying to push you a mile out of your comfort zone, then I would get new friends, especially if they don’t leave you alone after you’ve said no. No means no and they need to respect that.
significant others
Art by Adriana Vergara
At some point in your life, you’re going to start thinking about boys, or girls, or whoever. And once you do, you’re not going to stop thinking about them. They’ll distract you and it’ll feel as if you can’t do anything without them. But let’s be real, you can survive without them. You don’t need a significant other in your life to be happy, even though sometimes it feels like you do. I read this quote or poem somewhere that said something along the lines of “before you start loving someone else, you need to love yourself first.” I love this quote because I think it’s so true. It is my personal belief that you cannot and should not be in a relationship if you aren’t comfortable with yourself and who you are. You should always come first. Relationships are hard work. It takes a lot from each person to make the relationship workable and sustainable and before you pour all of your energy into that, you need to pour all your energy into yourself and being happy on your own. If you think being in a relationship will solve all your problems, then I don’t suggest being in one. If anything it, could intensify your problems or something or mask them for a while, only to resurface later. If and when you do get into a relationship, just know that it isn’t the end of the world if and when it ends. Relationships come and go, but you will always be the same. Don’t let the relationship turn you into someone you’re not. The person you’re in a relationship with should bring out the best in you and you should bring out the best them.
Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships
There are two types of relationships in terms of any relationship, but the following list pertains to romantic relationships, healthy and unhealthy relationships. Here’s how to identify them.
Signs of a Healthy Relationship:
Mutual Respect
Trust
Honesty
Compromise
Individuality
Good Communication
Anger control
Fighting fair
Problem solving
Understanding
Self-confidence
Role models
Equality
Personal Privacy
Friendship
Respect
Comfort
Independence
Humour
Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship:
Control
Hostility
Dishonesty
Disrespect
Dependence
Intimidation
Isolation
Physical violence
Pressure to do things you don’t want to do
Those in the relationship (one of them or both of them) also either don’t have friends or interests outside of the relationship or both
IF YOU THINK YOU ARE IN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, PLEASE VISIT OR CALL THE RESOURCES ON THE RESOURCES PAGE!!!!!